beat with it.

Hermes flew to me tonight, yet I can only feel that he only walked. The pace of his slowed ambition had left me wallowing in an after thought of singing to Krishna. You know, it is true. As the ambitions of a fleeting deity left you wondering about a part of you. A body close to your own, grinding your thighs and holding you close. For you to only dream of a past that haunts you. Never so truth full, the lies are explosives. For you. Picking up the laughter with your hands and legs only to haunt you. The smell of cardboard is a genocide of our own rage. You were always a ruse. Lets use our legs and arms to ruin our friends, who never thought we could love so we would hide.

Give it up, they said. Your friends. The funk I lived to in the rhythm of their words. The flow and pitch of the tones keep me grovin’ to the everlasting words, we are your friends. Until the bitter end. When we are alone, who comes along to pick us up. Inside looking in, to remind us, that is what friends are for.

What do you want to do tonight?

Iono, what do you want to do tonight?

For I have not reached the top and had to stop, that is what is bothering you.

Around 6:15 am the sun pokes through the glass window above our patio door. As a child before having to go to school I would lay down in the sun spot, laying my face against the citrus and wood smelling floors. I would close my eyes and sink deep into wood floors to be come part of them. Often enough I would awake to the steam whistle of my mother’s pressure cooker, three whistles would let me know breakfast was ready and soon I would have to leave my warm spot.

The sun is so powerful that it faded my favorite spot, I was the only person who felt the simplicity by being between the sun and that wood floor, I was connected to both. That part of me melted into the heat of the sun and became solid as the wood floor beneath me.

I became the care take for each of those woody panels that were laid side by side, the Teak was more of a darker color, dark like my body. I cared for it by sparing it with as many bottles of Pledge furniture polish as I could find in the house. I slid up and down those floors with my socks on, pretending to slide into home plate, or across the rock stage of my imagination. Those floors were my foundation for playing with my hot wheels cars, micromachines, and GI-Joes. My Ninja Turtle action figures still find their way journeying across the dark teak terrain hoping that none of the Foot Clan find them.

When I close my eyes when restless, it is that warm floor that my mind drifts to, sinking back into the faded hot teak floor tiles still comforts me and guides me into places within my mind that I have not yet been to.

I am too busy to even notice that the sun hits those floors now, I can only remind myself of how they do, and how much I miss them.

Should I be standing next to you?

On sands so soft we melt back into each other’s hearts.

Sinking back into the waves so cold, our bodies keep us warm.

All the blood that I bleed beneath your feet sinks no more, but floats up until it burns bright like the stars behind you eyes.

There I find an illuminating a fork in our road, we both decide to spoon.

Keeping our cold bodies warm we write down how we fell, letters we know will fade.

We try to do it right. Sleeping in your bed, I ll never get out. Even when I know I could piss the sheets. We laugh and cry, washing the sheets outside, especially when different parts of me, I know will die.

Now I fear for the future, not my own.

That the earth will have no more sand to keep cold bodies warm.

That oceans will rise so high there will be no sky, no mountains, just all sea foam, with nothing inside.

It will not matter the letters we write and will let degrade.

The sun will grow and swallow us whole, taking with us everything we all love and hold.

Just like the letters we forgot to write, and will never fade

Babe. I had to let her go, somewhere else I ll never know. A love i knew, now i weep for a love i have forgotten, the streets empty from our presence but still in existence. I cry no more and never should, for she gave up on a love that could. I pressured her in the front and she chose for us to die in the end through a unforgiving role of her own dice. A new lover rolled her down, and she was cornered, deep fried; a state fair in her site.

Across the seas I grew into a man with a purpose for doing good. Until Krisha and Vishnu said no more, I skinned a blessbok and they threw out my hip from my waist. A total waste. Now I am a man who has given up wants.  Only to focus on my dreams.

If your cup is full it is bound to over flow.

Calming my breath I search for that flow of energy that I want, and which I need to help me through overcoming my greatest enemy. Myself.

Fear had always been empty to me, when it fills me I grow with a certain vigorous confidence knowing well that deep within me I will overcome all obstacles, with grace. Each moment with each thought our blood boils with the emotions conjured through spell binding blindness. Another walk about after dark fear comes up behind me, he has always been waiting for me beside you. Waiting to see me in a dark night. For it is me for him who brings the light.

The rain that falls beneath our feet seeps deep, hunting us out while we try to lie and make others understand that is ok for us to run fast while we hold each others hands.

And now here I lie with six pillows by my side. Waiting for fear to come see me in the darkest of nights. Waiting to be whole, waiting to hear what I have already been told, that fear will see me in the darkest of nights.