Slender sturdy natural American pine log, varnished and attached to an unnatural rubber oval bell. You are hidden in every home, restaurant, school, and business. Your purpose is ghastly, your useful appearance is a reminder of digestive shame and gluttonous guilt. You are easy, operating you takes full focus, even in young hands. Your purpose is magical and you ring with excitement when you fulfill your existence; your method is narrowly simple. Catastrophic clogs are quelled after feverous exercise in icky proportions. You huff and puff. Tearing, ripping, and bellowing air into the depths of pressured personal hell. Remnants of filtered waste cling inside of your black pearly gut, splashes of contaminated water trail down your neck during battles. If not sanitized properly, you become that what you are made for. Loaded lavatory bowls fear your seal and crave your force. The half cup remains dry even when submerged, never gurgling for air. Clogged pipes wait earnestly for your slushy song to fill and clear their hollow passages. Your bellowed head allows for a subtle pivot and years of evolution have created the correct angle for the most effective hymn. Your origin is up for debate.